Testimony of Robert Balmer aka amberrob

Testimony of Robert Balmer aka amberrob
Saved!! . What a great way to describe what I am that two thousand years ago I was saved that before anything existed I was saved. I was saved through the sacrifice of Jesus the son so that I could reach salvation by accepting him into my heart I was born again a new creation. But what was I saved from that I what I am trying to write down to describe the life I had with out him in it I have achieved many highs through drugs and drink but neither of these comes close to the elation I get when touched by the spirit when I am focused on God in worship. Love I have loved many people and have felt the love of those around me but that is but a grain of sand in comparison to the complete love that He puts in our hearts. Family ours are small where his covers the world. So what was I saved from not just eternal damnation but from loneliness in this world for now I am never alone from desperation for He provides all that I need from sadness when He fills my heart with joy this is all true in this world if we are without Him we are lost but He keeps searching for us trying to save us until the last breath of life He is fighting for us we are the children of a loving God held in his heart where love has no limit no conditions we are blessed by him each day of or lives. Over my life I have faced many trials both physical and emotional before I accepted Jesus as my saviour I felt weak alone uncared for but since then I have known that he is with me. I lived on the streets and took many drugs to try and deal with the life I was leading when I was not high on drugs I was drunk on beer so for a long time I did not deal with the life I had lived. Even after I  was saved I struggled to face the life I had lived or the idea that I had to forgive those who had caused me pain to start with my father who walked out leaving my sick mother to look after five kids and one of them me was unruly and bad tempered. In 1977 I was taken in to care by the local authorities as I was deemed to hard for the school I attended or my mother to deal with. The year after due to my mother’s ill health my two brothers and two sisters were taken also we were all separated and raised in different ways. I spent most of my growing up moving from one home to another never settled long from 7 years old until 16 years old I lived in approx 26 different residential care homes. Then I lived on the streets two years or so of street living later I met a Christian who explained to me about the great sacrifice that Jesus had made so that we might be saved and after a while I prayed and accepted Jesus in to my life. This is where my journey really started as a Christian I was doing fine until the challenge of forgiveness came how could I forgive those who had caused me pain taken my family left me alone. The simple truth is I could not there was so much anger in me that I was unable to take that step and so I pulled away from god and returned to my old life I continued to do drugs and to drink and to steal and many other things that I now am glad are behind me after many years I met my wife and started a new stage in my life my marriage was blessed with three daughters but over the years I continued to drink I had by then given up the drugs in respect to my wife who simply gave me a choice her or the drugs but the drink stayed and the unresolved issues of my life festered in me until they became part of the reason I separated from my wife. I did not take the separation well and fell to drinking more feeling sorry fro my self during this time my wife turned to a friend of ours to help with the children he was a registered child minder and so trusted but once while visiting my then old home I heard a remark from my eldest daughter that caused the alarm bells to ring. The man who was involved was sent to prison as it was discovered that he was guilty of the things I suspected this incident was the last straw for me and I fell way from my wife my kids and returned to the streets for a period I found a hostel and then a flat after I had been in the flat for a while a man moved in next door it was a good place the neighbours all got along but one day it was discovered the man next door was guilty and convicted of child molestation in the states though he was removed from the next door hose I could no longer live there as it brought back what the other man had done to my daughters leaving the area I tried to return to family in Scotland after a year that did not work either it was then that I started travelling again and ended up at a Christian centre that fed the homeless here I met a man who ran it he took an interest in me and asked me to volunteer after about six month of sleeping rough and volunteering I had a short relationship with a woman that ended I moved away from the centre and had what might be described as an emotional breakdown ending with me in police custody for my own protection . I then spent a year hiding in a single room drinking and occasionally smoking drugs until the situation got to me and I left through random events I ended back at the Christian centre and was welcomed back as though I had been away on a long holiday when I attended a church thee I had attended before I had the welcome of a lost family member since then I have rebuilt my faith in God and my strength through him after a while I was given this computer to use and discovered Christian chat in there I met my brother in Christ Vladimir Vranka we both were looking for a place to praise God and to have good fellowship the room we created has been Blessed as in all things we pray and listen so that the Holy Spirit might guide us I hope that if you come to chat with us you will find blessings and friendship waiting. I thank you for your time and pray that the good Lord our Father bless you in all things